do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
