it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
