Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just found a bag of teeth...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
