I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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