Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
