he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
