I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
