Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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