Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
