I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
