how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
