operation harelip BJ is a go
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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