Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
