so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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