For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
