In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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