where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
