Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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