VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
