i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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