I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
