I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
