You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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