I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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