Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
