remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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