Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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