I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
