I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
