don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
