Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
