You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
