First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
