my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
