I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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