End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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