So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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