Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
