My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
