I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
