no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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