as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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