I am puke
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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