he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
