once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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