Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
