Pants 0. Shit 1.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
