New low: just hacked my moms facebook
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
