physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
