I'm so fucking centered right now
how can u be prego again
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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