I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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