omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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