walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
