WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
