State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
